|Rantings of a Persecuted Prophet
||[Jan. 2nd, 2003|11:02 pm]
Jeff, the God of Biscuits
|||||Chamber Choir singing the Praises of Jeff (otherwise known as: The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins)||]|
Oh, the trials one bears as a prophet of Jeff. Sister Q has recently invited me to join the ranks of those who proclaim Jeff throughout the land (or at least, throughout Livejournal). And behold, just as I take up my biscuit and follow, evil did smite me (or at least, the flu did smite me).
For those who may be confused, I will reassure you. Jeff is heartily against illness, disease, murder, war, and other things un-cute, un-nice, and generally-unassociated-with-biscuit type things. It's just that Jeff...well, Jeff is not as accomplished at the Healing Arts as certain other gods. Most notable in this category is YHWH, as represented by his son Jesus of Nazareth. He once...oh, I digress. At any rate, suffice it to say that Jeff's attempts at healing often go somewhat awry, sometimes resulting in unexpected and unnatural phenomenon. Seen that video of Leonard Nimoy singing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"? Yep.
So, we prophets of Jeff must bear up under the pressures as best we can. We invest in Dayquil, Nyquil, and items such as make us happy. In my case, Nyquil makes me entirely too happy by itself, thank you very much. I do, however, appreciate donations; this prophet's own mother came by with a hand made blanket to ward off the chills. Ah, the unlooked for kindnesses Jeff showers upon us in our time of hardship.